Forever, te amo
by Planetgreen
Summary: It's been seven years since Santana has been in Lima. She grew apart with many people, including Brittany. Now having received an invitation to the beautiful blonde's wedding; Santana truly realises how badly she needs her in her life and is faced with the decision to follow her instincts and pursue the one thing she's always needed, or leave her to be happy, if she really is,
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

it's been 7 years.

We tried emailing, but she never really knew how to turn her computer on.  
Phone calls worked, so did texts. Until slowly that started becoming less and less, and over time numbers change, things happen. Then all of a sudden she was a stranger to me.

26 years of age, sitting behind my desk; plenty of work to do, and for the first time since I locked all my thoughts of her away a long time ago, all that is on my mind is her, and only her.  
Her hair, the ways it bounces when she is excited, her eyes, how they're so blue, you could get lost in them, how they have that little sparkle in them; the little sparkle that is only ever there for you and her mouth, her perfect mouth.

She had left for MIT straight after regionals, you were devastated. However, like you always said; she was a genius, and you're sure that wherever she is, everyone knows it there.

After a lot of time, and a lot of hard work, you had managed to get into New York Law School. It wasn't a famous singer, but you just wanted to help people, you were sick of the mean mask. You studied hard, and graduated top of your class. You've never been afraid to boast, you're one of the top lawyers in New York, but something has always felt off, you've never felt complete without her.

You got the invitation two days ago. You don't know how she managed to find your address, probably something Berry pulled. You checked your mailbox and there it was, sticking out like a beacon from everything else. As soon as you read it, your heart reached the floor.

_-We humbly invite you to share with us the joining of;__  
__Brittany Susan Pierce__  
__and__  
__Mark James Fitzgerald__  
__in matrimony.__  
__On 30th November-_

It was strange, she always struck you as a summer baby, and you never really expected a cold wedding for her. Then again, you never really expected her to marry anyone but you.

Quinn called when you got home from work, wondering if you were going.  
"Fabgay, regardless our track record at parties, and the fun we have. I'm not sure if I'll make it to this one"

You say, ignoring Shue's sham first wedding, which you refuse to count, on moral principle, but thinking of Tina and Mike's, Kurt and Blaine's, and how much fun you had together; re-kindling your friendship, in a different way than the first attempt.  
The person you really wanted there had never been there.  
She was always working on something big.

"Come off it Lopez, you need to be there"  
She'd shot back at you.  
"You need to see her"

You closed your eyes and counted to ten before returning to the conversation.  
"Quinn, it's too hard"  
You whispered, not even sure if she'd heard you.

"No Lopez, seeing two people ridiculously in love, lose contact over life and then be reunited again by a wedding, which isn't theirs.  
That is hard. You're coming; we need to sort this out."

You didn't fully understand what she meant, but it was reassuring, and you knew you had to see her again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Fabray met you at the airport. You had decided to travel there together. It didn't take a lot of convincing with your boss to let you take off 3 weeks, you wanted some time with to family too. You hadn't taken holidays for as long as you'd been working in the firm, Christmas was always a small amount of time off, and you either avoided going home all together, or you'd visit your family at a holiday destination, far away from Lima Ohio.

This was going to be the first time you had returned in 7 years, all the other weddings had been elsewhere, extravagant places, or small little churches in a cute little town.  
You couldn't bear yourself to go home, because it was never home without her.

Stepping off the plane with Quinn, it's emphasised.  
Everything looks different, even driving through the town is different.  
Signs have changed; stores have swapped, closed down or opened. This is not a home you remember.

Quinn drops you off in front of your house with a kiss to your forehead, a promise to see you tomorrow and a wishful  
"It'll be okay"  
You're lucky to have her.

You have not even set foot on the doormat when it is flung open and you're pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Tana, my baby, I've missed you so much. It's wonderful to have you home, here"  
She whispers into your hair. You understand what she means, it does feel nice to be in here with her. Now you get to go face the harsh parts.

"Everything is just as you left it _Mija_"  
She says, holding you slightly away from her to look into your eyes.  
"I couldn't bare myself to move anything."

As you walk into your room, the panic sets in.  
This isn't what you wanted; she was right when she said everything was the same.  
You swear you can still smell her perfume in your room.

You drop your bags and head for the front door, grabbing the keys to one of the cars as you walk past the kitchen.

"I'm just going for drive, to get my head around everything"

You say as you kiss her on the cheek. She nods at you; you can see understanding in her eyes.

"_te quiero__, Santanita_"  
She says, as you walk away.  
_  
__"__te quiero, Mami__"_  
All of a sudden, you no longer feel 26, you feel like a teenager.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

You realise 20 minutes into your joy ride that you haven't eaten for quite a while, you just forgot, you're starting to feel dizzy and driving probably wasn't the best idea.  
You pull into a supermarket car park and slam the car door, not very excited about human contact.

Regardless of the fact that it is November 10th, and it's god damn freezing, you head straight for the ice cream; seeking out cookies and cream straight away.  
You were never a big ice cream eater, but it was one of her favourite foods, her favourite flavour, it makes you remember the days where you would spend hours on the couch, cuddled up to one another and spooning ice cream straight from the container.

The memory hurts, but it's when you're walking around the shop in search of spoons that you see that all so familiar flash of blonde hair.  
Deep down, even though you know it's not true, you hope she didn't see you and you turn to do the childish thing, and run away, but then you look up into her eyes, those blue eyes, and you know you're stuck.

She glides towards you gracefully, she was always magnificent. It's almost like everything slows down when she moves, so the world can admire how beautiful she is.  
When she reaches you, all you can do is stare at each other, looking into one another's eyes.  
"San" she whispers, breaking the silence.  
"It's been so long, I didn't think I was going to see you again"  
You study her, looking so closely, so deeply, hoping so much for what you want. You break the eye contact, looking at your shoes.  
"You wanted me Britt, so I came."  
You get out, almost a whisper, you dare to glance up again, and get lost in those eyes. And then you see it, that little sparkle, that's always been reserved for you, and for the first time in a long time, you smile.

You can only grin wider when you pulls you into a hug. Your bodies melting together effortlessly and you're reminded that no matter what, you were made for each other, and that hasn't changed, you inhale her scent, burying your head into her shoulder; the hug lasting longer than it should, because it feels so right.

"Britt?"  
Your hug is interrupted from somewhere down the aisle.  
She hesitates to pull away from you, but eventually she does. Your body screams at the loss of contact, and your eyes throws daggers at the person who disrupted your one moment of happiness in the last 7 years of hell.  
And there he is, a man. Walking towards the both of you cheerily, strutting along without a care in the world.  
When he reaches her he wraps his arm around her waist and whispers something in her ear.  
She shoots you a look, not one of sympathy, or of anger; a look of longing.  
"Mark, this is my"  
She pauses, contemplating what to say next, she looks at you and you nod her head, urging her to go on, he is oblivious to the exchange, caught up in Brittany world, staring at her intently.  
"This is my Santana"  
She says, whispering the end.  
"Santana this is Mark"  
She ends with, still staring at you, waiting for your reaction.

You size him up from head to toe, noticing him leering at your breasts as he does the same.  
If your teenage self hated Trouty Mouth, then she has another thing coming. There is fire burning in your stomach when you make eye contact with him, and you know he sees it.  
He has greasy brown hair, pasty skin with freckles, not the beautiful kinds that compliment her features either, they are ugly dark specks that frame his face. He is incredibly skinny, with no muscle whatsoever, and although he is quite tall, towering over you. He seems incredibly small.  
Just by looking, you can tell he's all wrong for her; you don't even need a conversation.  
You know he's all wrong, because he's not you. Looking back at Brittany, you know she is thinking this too.  
"Pleased to meet you Santana"  
He says, his voice full of the arrogance you were expecting, you've dealt with his type many times as a lawyer. The skeezey little rich boys who scam off their father's money their whole lives, never having to do a days work to support anything.  
His annoying button up and expensive jeans just help to say it all. You don't like him.  
"The pleasure is all mine"  
You say back confidently, adding more sarcasm to your voice than necessary.

You don't miss the apologetic look in she sends you as he nuzzles into her neck and whispers into her ear. All you can see is red, you hate him, he has his hands where yours should be, whispering the words that should only come out of your mouth.

Mark begins to talk about something unimportant, everything is unimportant when you are in a room with each other, there are only every eyes for one another. Her hand is still on your arm. It never left, you can feel the burning, the tingling that always appears wherever she touches you. You raise your eyes to meet hers, and again, feeling like a teenager, you still read her like a book, her actions, the way her forehead crinkles when she worries, or the way her twitches when she's excited, and from her expression, you see that she is still fluent in you as well, because her eyes read are;  
_are you okay..  
_A slight nod in her direction is all you can manage, but you know she knows when you are lying, she always knows when you're lying.

Your silent conversation is broken by her arm dropping and Mark saying your name.  
"Why're you back in town so early, Santana? The wedding isn't for another couple of weeks"  
You shoot another fiery glare in his direction; inaudibly forbidding him to speak to you like he is your friend, your acquaintance.  
"Well, Mike. After I heard the news I just had to come and see for myself. I haven't been in town for seven years and I just couldn't resist becoming re-acquainted"

"It's Mark, actually" he says quietly  
"Whatever Mick, I'm a sucker for letting unimportant details slip"  
You keep your harshness at a minimum, even now, you can't bear upsetting her.

"We should probably go, Brittany"  
He says, eyeing you off.  
You're thankful that he is beginning to realise you do not like him.  
"Okay"  
She almost whispers, and pulls you into another embrace. You savour this one, committing to your memory how you fit with her, how she smells and how you feel at home.

"We're at my parents for the time being, San"  
She says, staring into your eyes.  
"I would really like it if you could stop by, and we could spend some time together. It's been a really long time, and I missed you."  
You're lost in her eyes, and you don't know what compels you to say it, and re-expose yourself to all the hurt you'd suffered.

"I'll see you at ten"

You turn your back, and you walk away. The ice cream discarded as you left the store. You don't need the memory right now; your mind is still savouring the real thing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4-Santana.**

On the drive home you hadn't stopped smiling; your cheeks muscles were hurting because it was the first time they had been used in a very long time.

Your smile could only grow as you pulled into your driveway and saw your _Papi's _car there waiting for you, and sure enough, like he would when you came back from being away from your home for a while when you were younger; he was sitting on the front step of your house, waiting.

You leapt out of the car and he was there in an instant, pulling you into his arms and holding you, holding his baby. You could hear him trying to muffle his sobs in your hair; you could feel his body shaking.

You loved your _Papi, _he was one of the most amazing men in your life, just in front of Kurt and Puck. After hugging for an eternity and taking one another in, he finally pulled away and guided you inside.  
"I have missed you for what feels like an eternity, it makes me feel whole having you in our home again, _Mija_"  
He says, pulling you into another hug, your mother joins you shortly and your father welcomes her into the hug; embracing the two most important people in his life, in that moment you feel so loved. You've missed this, your family, belonging.

After a brief catch up, and promises of more information the next day, you are finally permitted to retreat to your bedroom. Exhaustion takes over as you collapse onto the bed. You are asleep in minutes.

_She looks around the room crying, she had just told everyone about MIT, and had finished embracing Sam. Santana would've hated him, but she had no room for hate. All she had inside of her was sadness. Her best friend, her soul mate, her Britt-Britt turned to her, and cried harder, trying to wipe away her tears.  
"No cries… Then there's Santana..."  
She moved towards her, so much pain in her eyes, and you move your arms around her, melting into her embrace. Remembering all the 'I love yous', the gasping of one another's names in your most intimate moments, your first initial meeting, the secret touches and the nights spent in each other's arms. You fall in love with her all over again, more so than before. You know she feels it too.  
"You don't have to say anything, Brittany"  
You say quietly, your love says it all.  
You reach out to stroke her face, but she keeps moving away from you, every time you step forward, she seems to have moved back. You begin to run, screaming her name.  
"BRITTANY, STAY WITH ME, I LOVE YOU, BRITT-BRITT PLEASE"_

"Mija"

You are woken by your mother, shaking you awake. A layer of sweat covers your body, and you are tangled in your bed covers. Your mom is looking over you with a worried expression, you know that there are tears, running down your face.  
"Tana, my baby, you were having a nightmare. You were screaming, _Hermosa, _I was worried"

You feel sorry for your mother. She has never had to experience your nightmares before, as irrational as they may seem for others, it is the most frightening thing you have experienced. You can't help it, the tears begin flowing and you start shaking with sobs. Maribel Lopez gathers you into your arm and croons in your ear, singing you a lullaby she would sing to you as a small child, whenever you were scared.

When you have calmed down, you notice the brightness outside your window.  
"_Mami_, what is the time?"  
You ask, standing up.  
"Just after nine, my sweet. Why?"  
You have an hour until you stupidly said that you would meet Brittany, you jump out of bed and reach for your suitcase, beginning to rifle through your clothes, pulling out a pair of tight denim jeans and a black t-shirt. You aren't eager to dress up today.

"I agreed to meet Brittany"  
you say quickly, hoping that your mother would not realise what you had said, even though you knew she would and you were fully aware she probably heard you screaming.  
"Okay, _Mija_, I will be here when you come back. _te quiero" _  
She says, leaving the room. You are grateful to her, for not mentioning your dream.  
"_Te quiero, Mami" _  
You say, as she closes your bedroom door.

After a shower, and a piece of toast under the insistence of your mother; you leave the house. Borrowing your _Mami_'_s_ car once again, you could have walked the small distance, but you feel like you need the car, just in case you need to get away, fast.

You pull into the Pierce's driveway, and from the outside, everything looks just the same, the colour, the garden, the fence; here is the house where you spent half your childhood growing up. As you walk down the small stone path, to the front door, you pray to a anyone, that the inside is the same too.

"_Saaaaan!"  
Your Brittany pouts, her eyes looking at you disappointed.  
"I want my home to remember us forever! Please?"  
You sigh, you have never been able to resist the bubbly blond, let alone say no to her. You take the pen knife and begin to carve._

_S.M.L  
B.S.P_

_Forever_

_July 2011_

_She giggles as she takes your hand and guides you onto her bed.  
"Now everyone will know how in love we are"  
You know a carving won't ever be able to express how in love you are with Brittany Pierce, but every time you look at it, _**you**_ will know how in love you are with Brittany Pierce.  
She flips you both over so she is straddling you;  
"Your mine!"  
She says, kissing your neck  
"Forever and always"  
You whisper back, and you know that it's true._

You bring your knuckles up to knock on the door. It's so strange, knocking on a house that it used to be second nature to walk in to. You stand and wait, contemplating how the day is going to turn out. Snapped out of your thoughts by someone shuffling behind the door your attention focuses on who it is going to be, the door opens, and Susan Pierce is revealed; the other major maternal figure of your life.  
"Oh my goodness! Santana, sweetie! It's been so long, and I can't believe it's really you!"  
She keeps repeating herself as she pulls you into a crushing hug, this feels right. She takes you into the kitchen, explaining that Brittany is on a run but she should be back soon. She makes you a coffee and you accept it with open arms, the woman knows the way to your heart. You make small talk about life, and you tell her that you went to law school, and that you now work for a successful law firm in New York. You're hoping to become a partner soon. Finally, she asks the question you have been avoiding.  
"So, are you with anyone?"  
You look into your coffee and sigh, you won't ever be able to lie to this woman, like her daughter; she can see straight through you.  
"I will never lie to you, Susan" you say, searching for the words to continue. She gives you an encouraging smile, urging you to go on, you take a breath and you do.  
"After Britt, nothing ever seemed right. I tried, when I learnt she moved on; but no one ever made me feel like she did, you can't fight with perfection"  
You finish, avoiding her eyes.  
Susan looks at you warmly and places a hand on your arm,  
"Honey, she never moved on"  
She whispers, just as the perfect blonde herself walks into the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Brittany rounded the corner onto her block sweating when she noticed the un-familiar car parked in her driveway. Mark had left for a town close by, early that morning to pick something up and had taken her car with him.

Realising you must have lost track of the time, you glance at your watch; 10.20.  
"Shit"  
You curse under your breath, realising you've left Santana waiting. You walk up the stone path, and try to enter the house making as little noise as possible. You hear your mother, and the voice that sends the butterflies soaring in your stomach. Creeping closer to the doorway, you press your ear closer, trying to listen to what they were saying.

"So, are you with anyone?"  
You hear your mother ask, silently cursing her for being so nosey.  
"I will never lie to you, Susan"

Your heart drops. This is not a conversation you want to hear; you grudgingly pull yourself away from the door, trudging upstairs and into your room to swap your disgusting shirt for a nicer one. After checking your appearance in your dresser mirror, curiosity gets the better of you, and you take the stair two at a time down in to the hallway, and hearing a break in the conversation, you walk into your family kitchen.

All form of air is knocked out of you when you see her. You know that when you saw her yesterday you were floored, but seeing her again now just makes it so much more real.

_You walk into the Lima General Store holding Mark's hand. He was a nice guy, he treated you nice and you were happy, just happy. Your mother had sent you to get the vegetables for the roast she was cooking; Mark had gone to the appropriate section to get the items off the list that you had been handed. You had gone off in a bit off a huff; he had been incredibly condescending to you when you were reading out the items. You did not appreciate being treated like a child and Mark failed to grasp that you were a Doctor of Science, and you were fair from incompetent. You had ventured to the ice cream aisle, deciding to make an addition to the list, cookies and cream was necessary after any meal. That was when you saw her. The dark, raven hair and her deep brown eyes. It may have been forever, but you would be able to spot her fifty years from now, in a crowd full of people. You just had this pulling force with each other. You move towards her, you know she's seen you and you can't stop, her name falls out of your lips, like it's been waiting there forever to come out again.  
"San, it's been so long, I didn't think I was going to see you again"  
And you didn't, you really thought that when you had last said goodbye on that day, that that was it, it felt so final. She's studying your face; you know she is, you can feel it. When you look up, she drops her gaze to the floor.  
"You wanted me Britt, so I came."  
She's right, you did want her, you always do. It took days, almost weeks to locate her; you had to jump through hoops to convince Rachel to give you her address. Eventually she had caved, giving you a very long lecture about stirring up left mess._

_You can't help the way you look at her, grinning, all your love bursting out of your eyes. When she finally raises her eyes to meet yours, you know she sees it too, because the smile on her face could light up countries. You don't even think when you leap forward and pull her into a hug, holding back a moan from deep, deep inside your body; it has missed the contact of its other half. You stand there and hold her, if you could freeze time, you would, everything is so perfect when you are moulded together._

"_Britt?"  
Your heart drops; Mark. He hadn't crossed your mind since you saw her hair. You feel guilty, and you pull away, leaving your hand on her arm, you always have to be touching somehow, always. Mark walks towards you with that annoying smirk he always sports when he has achieved something; he places his arm around your waist and leans into your neck, kissing it lightly. You can see the pain in her eyes when you look up, you want to comfort her, hold her, kiss it away.  
"I'm sorry if I offended you earlier, Babe. I just wanted to get the shopping done; I see you found something to keep you pre-occupied anyway."  
Mark again interrupts your thoughts whispering into your ear._

"_Mark this is my-"  
You immediately realise your mistake, looking up panicked at her, she looks at you reassuringly, urging you to continue.  
"This is my Santana"  
_

Seeing her had made you so happy, and here she was again, your Santana.


	6. Chapter 6

**Apologies, here is a proof read update of the story. Thanks for reading, please review, ideas are fabulous.**

Chapter 6

She bounds up to you and wraps you up in another hug, Susan's words still playing on your mind. You'd missed this; you had missed your Brittany.

"Come on, San"  
She says warmly, smiling down at you in your seat.  
"Let's go catch up"

Words aren't coming out very easily for you, so you nod your head once, she left you breathless with how beautiful she was, how good she felt. You stand and follow her, not that you need the direction; you know exactly where you're going. You admire the hallway, thankful for the familiarity of the photos on the wall, pictures of her when she was a baby, and slowly, as you walk further, the pictures with you begin, the picture from your first sleep over, when she fell asleep across you on the ground, because she didn't think it was fair for you to miss out on having the bed, so you both did. Pictures from school events like Cheerios and Glee club, weekends, everywhere. This was your second home. You pass the high school photos, noticing only a couple missing from the assortment, and knowing full well which ones.

"_Saaaaaan! Just one picture?"  
That pout, oh god, that pout; how could you say no?  
Your beautiful girlfriend moves to stand behind you, with her arms around your waist, tickling the skin around your navel.  
"Okay girls"  
Frank Pierce says, bracing himself with the camera, watching the ocean waves crashing behind you.  
"1"  
Brittany strokes your stomach, your abs twitching at her touch, where she touches is three times hotter than where the sunburn has kissed it.  
"2"  
She nuzzles her face into your neck, and you can't resist, you turn your face as she pulls away, ready to smile; you capture her lips with yours, sensing her surprise you move to pull away, without hesitation she cups your cheek and pulls you in closer, returning the kiss.  
"3"  
The camera goes off._

One week after they came back from the annual Pierce family holiday to the beach that Santana was always invited on, the photo had been hanging on the wall in the hallway, alongside all the others of the two lovers.

The memory hurts, it hurts because it felt so good, she feels so good. You wish you could take everything back to when it was just you two, it'd always been just you two; but like every other good thing in this miserable world, she was taken away from you.

You climb the stairs that you know so well and enter her bedroom, second door on the left. You don't know if you are relieved, or scared to see that it hasn't changed. You take yourself over to the window seat, sitting yourself down to try and keep your head, avoiding thinking about the last time you were in here. It hurts.

Brittany moves towards you, hesitating to sit down on the other side of the seat, you eventually move your feet. You want to be close to her, you need to be close to her. She sits down next to you; the space is small, so the outside of your thighs are touching. Intentional or not, whenever she touches you, you lose your breath and that part of your skin goes into a frenzy of tingles.

"I'm sorry"  
She says, breaking the silence.  
"I should've worked harder"

This is all it takes for tears to start slowly streaming down your face. You know exactly what she means, you always do.  
"You did nothing wrong Britt-Britt"  
You choke out  
"Look at how happy you are, you're getting married, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you"  
You lie through your teeth; you don't want her to know how much it hurts.

She sighs and takes hold of your hand, leaning her head on your shoulder, you sink into her embrace, once again savouring it.

Why are you doing this to yourself? This is just causing you pain. You stand up fast, stunning her. Your body screams at the loss of contact.  
"I have to go"  
You choke out, because you do, you can't do this. You can't stand by and be blatantly in love with Brittany, and watch her declare her love for another.  
"San"  
She whispers  
"Stay with me"

You get lost in her eyes, they're one of the things you loved the most, because with just one look she could tell you how much she loved you.  
"I can't Britt, I can't do this"

You turn your back and move towards the door, every cell in your body yelling no. Just as you reach for the handle you feel two very strong, muscular arms turn you, and wrap around your waist. There is barely a breath of time before her lips are on yours.

You are lost in your thoughts, sailing above the clouds when you register that this isn't a dream. You begin to kiss her back, sighing into her mouth relieved, you wanted this, needed this. You can feel her smiling into your lips. Now you remember what happiness feels like.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the slight delay on this chapter. I hope it is up to standard. Review, please; opinions are always wanted.**

Chapter 7

As the kiss becomes more passionate I lift her up, feeling her legs wrap around me automatically. Needing to be close to her I push our bodies against the door, merging them together. Our kisses have always been special; there has never been dominance, force. It's just always been love, want, emotion.

_She's sitting on the end of the bed, her shoulders shaking and her beautiful blonde hair spread across her back. I can hear her sob; it kills me to hear her cry.  
"Britt-Britt, tell me what's wrong, I can make it better .I promise I'll always make it better"  
I plead, tears beginning to leak down my own cheeks.  
"I wanted it to be special, San"  
She says, turning her head to let me gaze into her ocean blue eyes.  
"I wanted it to be special, and it was just taken from me"  
She buries her head into my shoulder, her lanky, developing body a lot bigger than mine. I gather her into my arms, stroking her back and trying to calm down.  
"Noah kissed me, I wasn't ready for it, he just walked up and kissed me. I never wanted my first kiss to be like that. I wanted it with someone special"  
My heart hit the floor in Brittany's bedroom. I resented Noah Puckerman with everything my thirteen year old body could hold, rage burning in my stomach.  
"You don't have to count that as your first kiss if you don't want to Britt"  
I say, and it's true. If Brittany didn't want that as her first, she didn't have to, and what my Britt-Britt wants, she gets.  
"Really ,San?"  
She asks me, her crystal blue eyes staring at me questioningly.  
"Of course, B"  
I say trying to push all my love out, so she can hear it.  
"You can wait, and have your first kiss with someone special when the time is right"  
I say, almost sadly; I feel jealous when she wants to be with anyone but me.  
"Oh I already have a special person, San, and I don't really want to wait"  
I look up and meet her eyes but look away quickly, I don't want her to see me break. I feel soft hands on my cheek, guiding it straight to look at her, and she's there, barely an inch from my face, our noses touching, eyes staring into our hearts.  
Our lips meet sweetly and innocently, mine full of love, always full of love._

I deepen the kiss further, receiving a grateful moan from the beautiful being against me, as I tangle my hands in her blonde hair I feel her hand creep under my shirt and rest on my abs; she always had an affinity for touching random areas of my body. I can't help but let out a small squeak at her touch; I get a shock every time she touches me, it's almost electrical. This urges her on, her kiss is now becoming more hungry, matching mine. I want all of her.  
"Saaan"  
She calls my name, wanting; needing. I shiver. Turning and walking her over to her bed, a familiar place we have both shared many times before.  
I begin to lift her shirt over her head, fitting in small kisses to the exposed skin on her shoulder and neck after it comes off.

She pulls my face to her own and reconnects our lips, filling both our bodies with desire. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down onto her, never disconnecting our lips, not wanting to be separated.

A knock at the door startles us both apart.  
"Brittany, I was just wondering if Santana was staying for dinner?"  
I shake my head, staring at her lying across the sheets on her bed, she's unbelievable. I turn my hand across the bed head and encounter a familiar notch, looking down I see my carving, our carving, and then the pain comes.

"I was actually just leaving, Susan."  
I say, rising from the bed and avoiding her questioning eyes. After a moment she rises from her resting place and locates her shirt, slipping it on slowly over head.  
"I'll see you downstairs then girls"  
Susan Pierce says, walking away from the door.

"I'll walk you out"  
She says, not realising, not understanding.

Four words, and I wrench the door open, four words, and I flee down her stairs, four words, and I sprint to her front door, flinging it open and running to my _Mami's _car; Brittany hot on my heels. Four words and I run away from her, again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Again, sorry about the slight wait for this chapter. Reviewing is very much appreciated!**

Chapter 8

_I opened her door, helping her out of the car, tears still leaking down her face from the last round of goodbyes after regionals, only minutes ago. I slide my hand down her arms, until our fingers meet and knot together; fitting perfectly. I pull slightly, guiding her to the front door of her house and fishing in her bag for the keys to the front door. My bubbly, beautiful blonde is broken. After a struggle and negotiation with her house keys, I manage to open the door, and I half carry her up the stairs, finally reaching her bedroom and sitting her on the end of the bed. I walk to her wardrobe and take her favourite pair of pyjama shorts and a baggy t-shirt, moving back over to the bed and sitting next to her, silently._

"_It's your turn now, San"  
She whispers, I turn my head to meet her gaze and find that it is not there; she darts her eyes around her bedroom, looking anywhere but at me.  
I open and close my mouth, finally finding words.  
"I'm not sure I understand what you mean, B"  
And I don't, the whole last two days has been confusing for me.  
"I've said goodbye to everyone now, Santana"  
She says, looking at me after an eternity  
"Now I have to say goodbye to you, because I am going away; I know you love me, and I love you too. It's always going to be like that. This is what I'm meant to do though, I never thought I would even graduate, you know that, and now I'm going to college, and you're finding yourself in New York. We're a world apart, San. I've never had to do anything without you, even this year you have always been just a phone call away."  
I never tried to hold them in, my tears came freely, falling down my face one after the other, in a sick pattern.  
"I will always be thankful for how much you are willing to do for me, San. And you know I would do anything for you, but now I think it's time for me to learn that I'm going to have to get used to life without you.I need to learn to do it by myself"  
I was openly sobbing now  
"Britt, you don't have to do anything by yourself, we do everything together"  
I pleaded with her, trying to hug her to me, wanting her to wrap her arms around me and tell me that everything was going to be okay; we were going to be okay.  
"We have to do this, San. I love you, but it's time for us to be apart now"  
She hugged me, briefly. It wasn't like our normal hug, it felt like goodbye.  
"Come on, San"  
She said, looking at the door._

"I'll walk you out"

"Santana, wait"  
I call, but it's no use, she won't stop, in a few seconds she is out of my bedroom and running down the stairs, she rips open the front door and flies to her car. I sprint behind her, managing to close the distance just as she reaches her car door, searching for her keys in her bag, tears streaming down her face.  
"Santana, I'm sorry, but please talk to me, what's going on?"  
She looks at me with her deep, dark eyes. It's so hard not to lose yourself. She finally lowers her gaze and returns it to her bag, the escapade for her keys still in full tow.  
"Santana, please"  
I plead, I need her, I always need her.  
"I can't, Britt. This can't happen. As soon as I say that I'm in love with you again I'll hurt, and it won't be fixed this time. So I have to go."

She opens the door of her car, after finally finding her keys, and leaves.

I crumble to the ground, broken, again.

Mark had come home and found me, sitting on the front lawn, the tears long since left my face and sitting with my thoughts in silence. He had picked me up and carried me back to my bedroom. After failing to get any information out of me he left.

"Bee, baby?"  
I knew it wasn't him knocking on my door. My mother entered the room, playing with her hands; a sign of anxiety.  
She sat on the end of the bed, and I remained hiding under the covers, the comforter pulled over my head, in my own world and avoiding anything real.  
"I need you to talk to me sweet heart, I need to find out how to help"  
I sat up and pulled myself from my safe haven, looking her in the eyes.

"I was seven years old when I met Santa-"  
"I know, Sweetie"  
She cuts in.  
"Just listen, Mom"

_I had started my first grade a week later than other children my age. My Dad had just been offered a new job in the town that he grew up in; Lima, Ohio. It was a spur of the moment decision, and we had spent the weekend moving into our new house and getting settled._

_I gripped my mother's hand as we walked into the main building of the school. It wasn't too big, it had a large playground at the front, and sports courts around the sides. There were small buildings surrounding one big one in the middle, they were all a different colour. After my Mother had located my new teacher she left on a hunt to find a new job to keep herself occupied in our new home.  
When I entered the class with my teacher I sat down at the only desk available, next to scrawny boy with glasses and very curly hair. We had developed a mutual understanding by the time recess came around; we do not talk to each other._

_I found a bench by myself a few metres away from the playground at lunch. I hadn't spoken to anyone, I wasn't confident, and people never really wanted to know me. That was when two boys came up to me. They were both very big, and looked very angry.  
"We want to sit there"  
The one closest to me had said, I remember hearing in class that his name was Dave. I tried to ignore them, so that maybe they'd leave.  
"You're in our seat, stupid, can you hear us? I bet she's too dumb to even talk. Am I right stupid?"  
The other one had said, stepping forward and pushing me off the seat, onto the ground._

_That was when she came over.  
"Hey!"  
She yelled, moving forward towards the boys and myself.  
"She isn't stupid you losers. She's probably just trying to understand what you're saying because dork is the only way you know how to speak, now hows abouts both of you go away right now before I decide to ends you both."  
I don't think I had ever seen anyone run so fast in my life, especially two bullies. She had then turned to me and offered me her hand, to pull me up.  
"I'm sorry about them, they don't understand how to tell that when someone is the biggest genius in the world. I'm Santana, Santana Lopez and you're new. What's your name?"  
She pulled her hand away and looked at me.  
"I'm Brittany S. Pierce"  
I whispered, she didn't scare me, but she seemed far too amazing to want to talk to me.  
"Well, Brittany S. Pierce"  
She said, moving and linking her pinky with mine  
"We're going to be best friends now, and I'll never let anyone hurt you and walk again"_

"We didn't just become best friends, we became us. We did everything together, everything. When we stopped talking I had to learn how to do everything by myself, but seeing her has turned everything upside down. It became easy to pretend she was never there, when I went to college I only took one photo of us and she had deleted her Facebook. The only way we spoke was by brief phone calls and they stopped. I tried to forget about her and it would work, but then there would be one day, in many; I would sit in my dorm room with her picture, sometimes I'd cry and sometimes I would just think of what could have happened if I were braver. Now that I've seen her again I just want to always be near her, or around her, touching her. I have all these feelings that were never solved and I'm still so in love with her and I don't know what to do. It's like when she's not there I'm incomplete, and then all of a sudden she's there again, and the world is in colour, and my sun looks whole, I need her so badly, Mom, and I don't know what I'm meant to do"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"I don't know what to do, Quinn"  
I put my head in my hands, my elbows resting on the table.  
"I'm so in love with her, I've always been so in love with her and now she's getting married, and it's not me and I don't know what I'm meant to do"

It had been two weeks since I had run away from Brittany again. She had tried calling, and had been over to my house, each time my _Mami _had told her I was busy and unable to talk. She tried really hard, but eventually left me alone.

"She came around here, you know?"  
Quinn said, standing up to pour me a coffee, knowing that it would calm me down. My head snapped up, suddenly alert to the conversation.  
"She loves you, you love her. You're just both too dumb to admit it"  
"Don't you dare call her dumb"  
I snapped, no one can ever make her feel dumb.  
"You know what I mean Santana. You're both my best friends and it has been that way for a very long time. You're going to spend the rest of your life miserable if you don't admit it to yourself that you need her and she needs you. You're like the only pieces to a two piece puzzle; it's not right without you together. So man up and just admit it"

Quinn's words take a moment to sink in. Brittany has always meant everything to me, ever since the day I met her I knew I would only want to be with her. I had spent all day trying to find an excuse to talk to her, and as unlucky as it was for her, I got lucky to play her hero.

"Quinn, I can't, she has Mark and she's happy"  
Quinn stands up and walks towards me, grabbing my arm and dragging me to her bedroom, when we get there she reaches under her bed and pulls out the Thunderclap from 2012, our senior year of high school year book.  
"There is one photo of you and Brittany, Santana, that I think expresses the love that you two have for each other, the never ending kind of love"  
She flicks through the pages with ease in search of her photo until she stops, lifting it into my line of sight. The photo was of Brittany staring into my eyes with her arms around my neck, two cheek hurting smiles on our faces.

_We had just finished our final song ever as the original 'New Directions' at nationals and the winner was being announced. As they read out our names the crowd went wild, but all I could see was her. She looked so happy, beautiful. She had been so beautiful the whole night. Her dancing was perfect, just like everything about her. She sensed my eyes on her and turned to meet my gaze, her grin only became wider as she closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around my neck, staring into my eyes.  
"I will never love anyone, more than I love you right now"  
She said, and she kissed me._

"I've dealt with your crap for almost 20 years Lopez, it's time to harden up"

Quinn Fabray was cursing at me, she must mean business.

There's nothing else for me except Brittany, I could never want another the way that I want her; love another the way I love her; need another the way I need her. Quinn is my best friend, and I love her very much. Brittany is my everything; she's my sun; my moon, she's the colourful leaves that fall off the trees in autumn. She's the first flower in spring, she's that feeling you get when you crawl into bed when you're freezing. She is absolutely every perfect feeling in the world and more, but she's not mine. We shouldn't have kissed, now we're both so confused; it was not wrong though, kissing her can never be wrong. How can something so wrong always feel so right?

Quinn tried to make me feel better, she's worked really hard to make me feel better for the past 7 years, she even moved to the same city to make me feel less alone. She never understood that only one person could make me feel better, and if she didn't want me I was empty, I was worthless.

It hurt the most because I should be marrying her, I should be holding her, and I should be loving her,

_"Hey San?"  
My perfect. beautiful blonde said as she lay her head on my chest. We had just come back from cheer practise with the devil herself and were exhausted.  
"What's up, B?"  
"Do you think we'll get married when we're older?"  
She asked, my whole body tensed, that was a question that came out of left field.  
"What do you mean, Britt-Britt?"  
I asked, knowing what she meant, but needing an explanation.  
"Well"  
She started  
"People who are in love get married, my dad was in love with my Mom, so they got married. The same with your parents; I think it's beautiful, giving yourself fully to someone like that. I guess what I'm saying is, I am in love with you as much as anyone we know that is married, probably more, so do you think we will get married?  
She looked up at me with her beautiful blonde eyes, and noted the tears leaking down my cheeks.  
"Baby, what's wrong? Did I say something? Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry!"  
Tears filled her eyes and I lifted my hand to cup her cheek, she leant into my touch.  
"I'm not sad Britt, I'm happy. I'm happy because I'm in love with you too, and nothing would make me happier than to marry you one day"_

_She pulled me close and kissed me tenderly. Words were not needed._

I looked up at Quinn, tears filling my eyes  
"I'm so in love with her, Quinn. What am I going to do?"  
For the thousandth time that night, my best friend gathered me into her arms and held me while I cried over her.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I sat on my bed, tracing my fingers over the carving in on my bed-head; trying to feel her touch, trying to feel her love.

_Forever_

My bedroom door opened, and in he came. My saviour for the last 5 years. I had met Mark in my second year of college. We were both taking physics, and one day we just clicked.

"_Is this seat taken?"  
I raised my head to meet two grey eyes belonging to a boy I had seen frequently in my lectures. He had transferred to MIT earlier in the year and picked up classes in second year. He smiled at me, welcomingly. That didn't happen much anymore; people had avoided me when I came to college, my attitude had gone through quite a change over the last two years.  
"No, you can sit here if you want"  
I said as I moved my laptop from the spare side of the bench next to me. Looking around the room I could see many seats still free.  
"I'm Mark, Mark Fitzgerald. I transferred here earlier in the year, I came from New York, I just wanted a change, I've wanted to speak to you for ages but I haven't really had the balls, you're really pretty by the way, like really pretty!"  
I giggle at his rambling, it had been a long time since I had been able to laugh.  
"I'm Brittany S. Pierce"  
I said to him as he sat down  
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mark from New York"  
I had lent him a pen for our lecture, he had been running late that morning and left his in his room. After our lecturer had finished up and was clearing away his notes Mark turned to me.  
"Thank you for the pen, Britt, is it okay if I call you Britt?"  
I nodded my head once, the word sounded different on his lips to who I wanted to call my name.  
"Let me repay you for you generosity"  
He said and winked at me with a smirk on his face_

That was the first date, then there was the second and the third; time flew by quickly and before I knew it we were moving in together and both graduating. Mark made it easy for me to pretend to be someone else. No one knew me at MIT. I could be anyone, I could be smart. I loved him, I really did, nothing could compare to Santana, ever, but she had shut me out years ago. We no longer talked at all, I only ever heard snippets about her from Quinn; that she got into law school and graduated, that she's an incredibly successful lawyer and that she's finally moving towards being happy. If she was happy, then I could try and be happy too. I knew I had made a mistake; there was one good thing in my life and I cut it out, but at least if that good thing was feeling better then I could try and get by knowing that.

_I stood in front of the mirror, dressed in my long, black robes; just staring into my own eyes.  
"Look how far you've come"  
I whispered to myself, holding my hand to the mirror.  
"You've almost done it"  
Almost, I had almost done it. I was living my dream, almost. I danced in a studio in my free time, making money by teaching classes and I was graduating university one of the top of my class. They had recommended I continue studies and look into becoming a professor. There was just one thing missing, one vital thing._

_I pulled my phone from my bag and selected a number I rarely touched, pressing the call button. I would only use it if I needed some incredible form of advice, or if I was curious.  
There were three rings before someone answered.  
"Hey Britt"  
She sounded like she was in pain when she spoke to me, it was easy to tell who she would pick when Santana and I broke up;San needed a friend, San needed love.  
"Quinn, it's Brittany"  
I said into the phone, even though I knew she would know it was me. Nerves were coursing through my body, making me anxious as ever.  
"Britt, what can I do for you?"  
She asked, still sounding scared, pained to be on the phone. That's when I heard her in the background.  
"Quinny! You never have the chips I like! I know you're trying this whole 'save the earth' vegan thing! But I has to have my chippies to sit through one of these shit movies with you. Who are you talking to? And why do you look like you've just seen Finnocence naked?"  
My breath left my body, so much time later and she still sounded beautiful. There were butterflies in my stomach, no; there were butterflies soaring around my body.  
"Quinn, please, let me talk to her"  
I asked, you could hear the pleading in my voice  
"I don't think that's a good idea"  
She sighed, she was probably right too.  
"Quinn, I'm begging you, I graduate college today. I need to talk to her, I want her. Quinn, please?"  
There was a sigh at the end of the phone and shuffling, the rest of the noises were then muffled because Quinn had put her hand over the receiver. Finally I heard a breath at the end of the phone.  
"Santana?"  
"Brittany, hey. It's been a while…"  
It had been a while, it had been an eternity. Anytime without Santana was an eternity.  
We were sitting in silence for about a minute when she spoke.  
"Why did you ask to talk to me Brittany?"  
This was it, this was my chance.  
"Santana, I know it's been forever since we spoke and even longer since we saw each other, which feels crazy considering we were inseparable for like eleven years or something before that. I needed to talk to you today, because everything good that ever happened to us we shared, and I know you're all successful now, but I graduate today. They think I can become a professor. I guess I needed to tell you that without you I would never have done anything, and I would still be in little old Lima Ohio. You're fantastic San, and I owe everything to you. That's it.."  
There was a long pause again.  
"You're a genius Britt, I'm proud of you"  
And she hung up._

That had been the last time we spoke. A brief conversation that we both needed but still broke our hearts, it did neither of us justice for closure, she couldn't talk to me because it hurt too much. I couldn't talk to her because it reminded me of what I gave up and lost.

Shortly after the phone call Mark had come and got me and we headed to our graduation ceremony together. Later that night we had gone out to dinner with my parents.

"_Can I have your attention please?"  
My dad had practically shouted over my brother and sister arguing and my Mother trying to peace keep.  
"I spoke to Mark earlier today, and he has something he wants to say"_

_I pulled my attention off my father to my boyfriend, sitting in the seat next to me, with a wide grin on his face. He got out of his seat, brushing off his suit and standing up straight and tall.  
"Brittany"  
He said, taking my hand.  
"We've been together quite a while now, we've been through most of college together and we moved in together last year. I've come a long way from the shy guy that didn't have the guts to talk to you for the first little while of your second year, and I have you to owe that to. You're one of the most fantastic people I've ever met. You're really nice as well and I think we fit well together"_

_We fit well together, but we don't fit perfectly. My thoughts flicked to the beautiful Latina I had been talking to earlier that day. _

"_I love you, and I'm pretty sure you love me too"  
Mark said lowering himself to one knee.  
Oh god.  
"Brittany S. Pierce, will you do me the honour of becoming me wife?"_

_The air was knocked out of my lungs. Mark was looking up at me still smiling, not doubting that I would not say yes. The whole restaurant was now watching. I looked at my mother; she met my eyes, her expression hard to read. Finally I snapped back to reality and stood up, Mark coming with me.  
"Yes"  
I whispered, choking back sobs, sobs that weren't good. I had realised in this moment that I had really lost Santana._

Snapping out of my numerous day dreams I felt Mark's arms wrap around me. He was sitting next to me on the bed.  
"Brittany, what's wrong. Talk to me?"

I breathed in deeply, filling my whole body with air.  
"Mark, I need to tell you something. It's a really long story, and it'll be confusing, just let me talk though. Okay?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

One week before the wedding I found myself knocking on Brittany Pierce's front door again. Only this time Susan didn't answer; Mark did.

"Oh, uh hey, is Brittany home?"  
I kicked the ground with my foot. This would be incredibly high up on the most awkward moments of my life and it definitely put an inhibitor on my plan.

Mark stood in the doorway giving me an incredibly filthy look.  
"Yeah, she's home. She's in the shower at the moment, you're welcome to stay around until she's out, but I think we should have a chat first"  
He spat at me.

He moved out of my way and let me through, into the house. I had a feeling today was not going to end well.  
"Is Hailey home? Or Oliver?"  
I asked Mark, hoping that I wasn't going to have to spend the rest of the time Brittany was getting ready chatting with someone I loathed.

"Nope. Just plain old boring me"  
He said, gesturing for me to sit down at the kitchen counter.  
"I'd offer to get you a drink Santana, but you're not going to be here for very long"  
"Excuse me?"  
I said, feeling the all too familiar feeling of the fire igniting in my stomach.  
"You don't get to talk to me like that"  
I had said slowly and quietly glaring into his eyes.  
"Brittany told me all about your little 'romance' Santana, and I was quite disgusted. Luckily enough for Brittany, I still want to marry her regardless of her stupid little dyke moment when she was younger"

The fire just exploded.

"Okay Buddy, you listen here, and you listen good. No speaking from you, no interrupting. Just listening. I understand why you want Brittany, I will say once again that she is all that is good in this miserable, stinking world. I am not keen on this marriage, because clearly and obviously I am still very much in love with that beautiful woman upstairs, however, unlike you I am not a pig and I believe that Brittany should be able to choose what she wishes to do. Now unfortunately for me, and probably her, she wishes to marry scum like you. Now here is where we are about to get into business, nod if you understand me"  
He nodded once, a look of horror and fear on his face.  
"Brittany Pierce, is not stupid. She is a lot smarter than you will ever be, and she will amount to a lot more than you could ever dream of. If you ever call her stupid, I will personally arrange your limbs until they spell out sorry. Not only is that girl the person I am in love with, but she also happens to be my best friend, and that is a relationship that you will never be able to control. I know you will try to because you are so insecure about your tiny little self it makes you feel big. Nod if I'm right"  
He nodded, I was getting a kick out of this.  
"Okay Mr Wannabe, I am just going to tell you now, this will not be the case. If she follows through with this idea of marrying you, you are going to give her everything she wants, regardless of what it is. You are going to do everything she says, and you are going to spend every day making her happy, because that is what she deserves and regardless if I can give it to her or not, that is going to happen. Now for the last time, nod if you understand"

He nodded.

"Good, I'm glad we can see eye to eye, now I'm going to get that drink"  
I said, walking over to the fridge, feeling quite good about myself.

"You're a bitch."  
I turned around slowly  
"What?"

Just as I had finished moving towards him, I heard Brittany.

"Hey Baby, I used the rest of the conditioner, do you think you could run down to th- Santana, hey"  
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me, a guilty look on her face.  
"I didn't know you were coming over, I would have been ready"  
I nodded my head, at a loss for words. Mark walked over and pulled her towards him, kissing her passionately. Brittany pulled away quickly.  
"Mark, we have a visitor"  
Mark looked over his shoulder at me, smirking.  
"I'm sure she can leave and we can have some fun"

That was it, I felt sick. I picked up my bag and looked Brittany in the eyes; she was silently pleading with me to stay.  
"You know what Brittany, he's right. I'm just going to go; I'll see you at the wedding in a few days. I can see myself out."

I walked into the hall, passing all of our photos, all of our history and let myself out of the front door. I didn't understand, if two people loved each other, then why couldn't they be together. I hated seeing her with Mark; I hated the feeling I got whenever he touched her, or looked at her. He would never treat her the way she deserved.

As I reached the car I had borrowed from home and steered it towards Quinn's house, my sanctuary, all I could think was not being able to wait to get out of Lima and go home to New York, away from this hell hole of feelings, lost love and grief.

I made it to the end of Brittany's street when my instincts turned right instead of left, carrying me to one of the places I have been avoiding the whole time I have been here. My _Mami _had tried to get me to visit a few times in the first week I had been in Lima, but I had cut her down every time and she slowly gave up.

I stepped out of the car and locked it, strolling towards the front entrance with my head held high and my eyes straight, resuming the persona of my teenage self as I walked into William McKinley High School.

As I walked through the halls I was hit with Déjà vu, only this time I was older, so much older, and I didn't have my friends by my side.

I walked towards the general office; I wasn't going to walk through a high school without asking permission first. I definitely did not want a jail visit. Just before I reached my destination, something stopped me. I heard a voice singing in a class room up ahead, one of the music rooms. The voice was familiar, all too familiar. I stopped just outside the door and tried to look in, my view was obstructed by something and I couldn't quite see his face.

_**Someone told me long ago,  
There's a calm before the storm,  
I KNOW.  
It's been comin' for some time.**_

When it's over, so they say,  
It'll rain a sunny day,  
I know  
Shinin' down like water. 

I slowly and quietly began opening the door, the man was standing with his back to me, singing to nothing but space. I recognised the song.

_**I want to know, have you ever seen the rain  
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain  
Comin' down on a sunny day**_

Yesterday, and days before,  
Sun is cold and rain is hard,  
I know  
Been that way for all my time.

'Til forever, on it goes  
Through the circle, fast and slow,  
I know  
It can't stop, I wonder.__

I finally realised who was singing and without hesitation joined in on the last chorus, harmonising perfectly with them, like always. Our voices fit together naturally.

_**I want to know, have you ever seen the rain  
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain  
Comin' down on a sunny day **_

He slowly turned around after he had strummed the last chord on his guitar, finally meeting my eyes. He was a lot older, and had aged well. He dropped the guitar to the floor and moved towards me. In three strides I was in his arms, tears streaming down my face.  
"Lezpez, I can't believe it's you!"

I let myself sink further into his arms; he was one of the only men I had ever trusted.  
"Puck, it feels so good to see you"  
And it did.

After we had both finished crying and pulled ourselves together, Puck dragged me to the teachers' lounge. He explained to me that he had finally made it into college after a lot of persistence and had become a music teacher. He wanted to make a difference; after Coach Beiste helped him turn his life around in senior year he had developed a lot of respect for teachers. He had moved to McKinley into a vacant music teacher's position and had also picked up coaching the football team. After explaining his last seven years to me, he pushed me to tell him everything about myself, and I did. It hurt to retell my whole heartache and how hard it was to pick myself up again, but it felt good getting it out to someone who wasn't Quinn.

"You've done so well Puck, I'm so proud of you"  
He had a grin on his face as he softly punched me on the shoulder.  
"Come on Tana, it wasn't too hard, I'm still the biggest badass in this place"  
I laughed and looked up at him. I really loved how Puck genuinely loved me, excluding our dodgy little fling in high school before I came out. He had developed into my brother, and it felt good to have him back.

"Okay, now that we've gone through with the pleasantries, it's time we spoke about the elephant in the room, and don't you dare interrupt right now! Because I know you're dying to. I have concluded that the only reason you're back in Lima is for Brittany's wedding. Now I, like many others, think that this is bullshit. Santana, you and Brittany are made for each other, this wedding, this wedding cannot happen. You need to stop it"

I looked up at him, tears already threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Puck, you don't understand, it's hard, and it's not what she wants. She's happy with him"

He looked at me, his expression softening slightly

"Tana, you need to listen to yourself, you know she doesn't want this. You know he's a dick and you know she's only happy with you. Just go for it. I made the mistake of letting someone go, and I have regretted it ever since. This is your chance to finally win back your girl. Re-unite Brittana, we've always been egging for you! You just need to make it happen. You're broken without each other. If you need time to think, that's okay. Stay late after school with me, it should be ending in about five minutes, and Glee club starts soon. Maybe it'll help you remember just how important that lovely little dancing blonde is"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Puck waltzed into the choir room with me in tow, he leant against the piano and looked up at me.  
"The kids will be really excited to see we have a guest star this week, they love it when we get visitors."  
The door swung open and Mr Schue walked into the room, dropping his books when he saw me. I had just assumed Puck was the new Glee teacher because he was the music teacher, I didn't know Mr Schue was still going to be here. He walked over and gave me a long hug.  
"Santana, it's so good to see you again, how have you been?"  
He released me from the hug and I looked up at him  
"I've been alright Mr Schue, it's so good to see you too. Puck, I can't believe you didn't tell me Mr Schuester still did Glee club!"  
Puck chuckled and looked over at me from the piano.  
"Sorry Tana, must've slipped my mind. Mr Schue and I both teach Glee now"

I looked around the room at all the pictures surrounding the walls and at the overflowing trophy cabinet. Then my attention was drawn to one particular cabinet, with a trophy in it and a photo hanging over head. I walked over and read the shining gold plaque that was hanging off it.

_Mckinley High School's  
__**NEW DIRETIONS  
FIRST PLACE  
NATIONALS 2012**_

"_If you dream it, it can be done"_

Tears were leaking down my face as I looked at the photo of everyone so happy; I missed the feeling of being loved, wanted, needed.

The doors opened to reveal a group of teenagers who slowly filled the seats in the room, cheerleaders, geeks, jocks: the works. They all turned their attention to Puck as he began writing on the whiteboard.

_YOU_

"Okay everyone, this week we're looking at you; I want everybody to sing a song about how they feel right now, and about something they want. This is one of my closest friends in the whole world, it's been a very long time since I have seen her. You may recognise her from photos everywhere around the school, carvings on the table and the scared ghosts still running away from her in the hallways"  
Everyone found that quite funny.  
"She used to rule this place, and in my opinion, she still does. I introduce to you Santana 'Snix' Lopez"  
I saw a few jaws drop; still got it.

The cheerleaders got quite excited, Sue Sylvester must still be clucking around the nest, preaching the Unholy Trinity.

"Hey everyone"  
I started, looking at Puck  
"I know I'm meant to sing a song now, or something, but I don't really have anything ready, and it's been a while since I sang in front of people"  
Puck looked at me with a smirk on his face  
"Come on Lopez, a song about how you feel"

I sighed, walking to the instruments and picking up a ukulele

I tuned it and began strumming a progression that I'd become all too familiar with over the last few years.

**I'll grow when you grow  
Let me loosen up the blindfold  
I'll fly when you cry  
Lift us out of this landslide**

Wherever you go  
Whenever we part

I'll keep on healing all the scars  
That we've collected from the start  
I'd rather this than live without you  
For every wish upon a star  
That goes unanswered in the dark  
There is a dream I've dreamt about you

And from afar I lie awake  
Close my eyes to find  
I wouldn't be the same

I'll shine when you shine  
Faded pictures on my mind  
Sun sets on this ocean  
Never once on my devotion

However you are  
Or far that you fall

I'll keep on healing all the scars  
That we've collected from the start  
I'd rather this than live without you  
For every wish upon a star  
That goes unanswered in the dark  
There is a dream I've dreamt about you

And from afar I lie awake  
Close my eyes to find  
I'd never be the same

Without you

Once I had strummed the last chord I put the ukulele back from where I had got it and sat down next to Puck. Throughout the lesson a few students had come over to me and told me what they had heard about me which was quite amusing, but my mind was elsewhere.

When the lesson ended I grabbed Puck's wrist.  
"You need to come with me"**  
**I said as a look of confusion crossed his face.  
He followed me to the car I was using and hopped in the passenger's side; I pulled off onto the road and started towards Quinn's house.

When we reached Quinn's I jumped out of the car and ran to her front door, knocking non-stop until she opened it, looking half asleep.  
"Santana, what the hell is going- Hello Noah"  
I turned around remembering I had brought Puck with me.

Shit, I brought Puck with me.

"Hey Quinn"  
Puck whispered, looking anywhere but the girl in front of me.

_My phone had been ringing non-stop all through class. I had finally just left and brought it to my ear.  
"Hello"  
"Tana?"  
I could hear Quinn sobbing at the end of the phone, broken.  
"Quinn, where are you?"  
Quinn and I had moved in together about a month ago, when she had moved to New York start law school like I had.  
"I'm at home San"  
She whispered.  
I broke into a run to our apartment, which was in walking distance from where school was.  
"Quinn baby, I'm coming"  
When I reached the apartment I threw open the door and found Quinn on the floor, sobbing. I gathered her into my arms and held her to my chest.  
"Shh Quinn, it's okay"  
I whispered into her hair.  
"Noah came"  
She cried out  
"He came and he said he loved me, and that he'd move here and we could be together"  
Quinn and Puck had always loved each other; it had taken Puck a while to man up and realise.  
"Why are you crying then Quinn?"  
I said, whilst brushing the hair out of her face and cupping her cheek so she would look at me.  
"I can't do it San, I'd only hurt him, so I told him to go"_

_She cried herself to sleep every night for a month. I would just hold her close and let her cry into my shirt. One day it just stopped, and we didn't mention it again._

We were all sitting in Quinn's lounge room with mugs in our hands. Quinn had made coffee to avoid Puck, but they still spent ages just looking at each other.

I informed them of my plan and what I needed them to do.  
"This might just work Tana"  
Puck said, his mischievous grin on his face yet again.  
"Yeah Lopez"  
Quinn said, still looking at Puck.  
"For once, I feel like something you said is useful"  
I laughed at Quinn's comment, and stood up, stretching the muscles in my back, ready to go.  
"Do you want me to drop you home Puck?"  
I said, whilst giving Quinn a hug goodbye.  
Puck looked at Quinn and she quirked her eyebrow, the token Fabray look.  
"Actually Santana, I might stay here for a little while"  
He said, still looking at Quinn and standing up to move towards her.

I left before I could hear another word, chuckling to myself as I got to the car, knowing that next time I see my two best friends, they would be a lot happier.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

You stand alone, staring at yourself in the mirror; the white lace and satin cradling your body. This is meant to feel right, but it doesn't. You're meant to be happy, but you're not. You're not happy because Mark is not her and it doesn't feel right because you're not standing in a wedding gown for Santana, you're standing in a wedding gown for him.

_Tan arms encircle your waist as you pull your hair on top of your head.  
"Santana"  
You whimper as gentle kisses are placed on your neck and shoulders.  
"I'm going to be late for dinner, my parents will be mad"  
She turns you in her arms and places a chaste kiss on your lips.  
"When I marry you, we can decide if we want to be late for dinner"  
She buries her head into your shoulder and continues to attack your skin with kisses. You push back lightly on her shoulders, forcing her to meet your eyes.  
"Really, you mean it?"  
Confusion crosses her face until she understands what you mean. A small smile plays on her lips as she leans in, her mouth millimetres away from yours, still staring into your eyes.  
"Of course Britt-Britt, I'll marry you and then we'll be together forever."  
She closes the distance between her mouth and yours as you melt into the kiss._

"Brittany Susan Pierce"  
You hear you mother's voice call from outside the door.  
"You have been standing in that room on your own for twenty minutes, come out and show me that wedding dress"

You take a sharp breath as realisation dawns on you, you open the door slowly and look up to your mother, pride gleaming from her eyes.  
"Mom"  
You pause, her face drops when she sees how torn you are, noticing you are having an internal battle with your emotions.  
"Mom, I love Santana"  
She nods her head in acknowledgment as she moves towards you and gathers you in her arms, holding you close to her beating heart.  
"I know sweetie, I know"  
You sob as they remove the wedding dress from you and return it to its bag. You sob as your mother swipes her card for the last time, finishing the payment for your gown.

It's ten o'clock at night when your father enters the house; regardless of him not living there for years, he continues to waltz in as if it were his own. He gives you a gentle hug and places a kiss on top of your head apologising for being soaking wet due to the rain and then moves into the kitchen to talk to your mother.

You admire your parent's ability to stay amicable towards each other after they divorced. They said that it was not that they didn't love each other anymore; they just loved each other too much. It's painfully obvious when you see them together how much they adore each other, they just drive each other insane.

The deafening roar of thunder sounds outside the window and you whimper, drawing your knees close to yourself; thunderstorms will always scare you, regardless of age. Mark has again left town and your sister is busying herself with a friend. You feel incredibly alone.

There is a knock at the door and confusion dominates your features as you ponder who would be playing door to door so late at night. You hear your mother open the door and gasp, curiosity gets the better of you and you move to see who is waiting there.  
Covered from head to toe in water standing in the doorway is your goddess, soaked through to the bone and still looking absolutely flawless. She scowls as your mother laughs at her. Your father moves into the hallway and greets her with an enthusiastic hug, having not seen her in close to six years. Your parents drag her into the kitchen and boil the kettle, your mother placing down four cups.  
"Brittany, sweetheart, why don't you take Santana up to your bedroom and find her some less wet clothes"  
Your mother says, glancing over her shoulder to you and indicating with her head to the stairs.  
"Quick Britt, you don't want her to catch a cold."  
You sigh and take her hand, urging her out of her chair. You are well aware that she knows the way to your bedroom; you just need to touch her.

When you enter your room you head straight to your chest of drawers, pulling out a pair of sweat pants and an old Mckinley High tank top, hoping they will fit her small frame. You hand them to her, heading toward the door.  
"Brittany"  
She sighs as you turn to face her.  
"Can you stay, can we just talk, you've seen me nude plenty of times, we grew up together, practically lived together not to mention wh-"  
"Okay Santana I get it, I'll stay"  
You cut her off, afraid of her next comment. You move towards your bed and sit down, staring at your feet while she proceeds to remove her shirt and pants. You can't help but stare at her body, her smooth skin, long, beautiful legs and amazing chest. Everything is beautiful. You blush as she catches you staring and quickly look away ashamed. She giggles and moves over to you, still without her shirt.  
"It's hard, isn't it B?"  
You look up at her, her eyes delving into yours.  
"I'm not sure what you mean San"  
You say, and you don't. Her statement has confused you; you stare at your fingers, picking at your nails as a nervous habit.

She places her hand over yours as a sign to stop.  
"It's hard because we've never really been just friends, even when we were really little we were each other's, not always lovers, but always together. And now when we're around each other again we have to work to be something that we are not, that is completely new to us and it's hard. I go to sleep every night still thinking about you, and I don't know how to stop it"  
She has tears slowly creeping down her face after her rant; you lift your hand to catch one before it leaves her cheek and she takes your hand in hers.  
"Do you love me Santana?"  
You ask, your hand now stroking her cheek. You stand and she looks up at you through heavy eyes.  
"Brittany, I've loved you since the moment I saw you, I felt the need to protect you from everything bad in the world. You've always felt right to me; I don't know what to do when I'm without you. I thought I was okay and that time had helped me get over you, but I can't see you with Mark, Britt, it hurts so much. I came here tonight to tell you that I'm not going to hang around for the wedding, I'm going to leave. I hope you enjoy your life with Mark, I'm so glad he makes you happy, and I'm so, so sorry that I couldn't Britt, because all I ever wanted to do was make you happy. I love you"  
She leans in and kisses you softly, her hands pressing on your abdomen. You hold the side of her face, you will her to stay but she doesn't. She releases you gently and leaves, her tea forgotten, you forgotten and your love now a story of the past.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Your tears merge with the rain as you leave Brittany's house, not even attempting to hide the sobs as you walk to Quinn's.  
She opens the door for you before you have even reached the step to her house and gathers you into her arms.  
"I couldn't do it Quinn"  
You sob into her shoulder.  
"She's happy with him and I don't want to ruin that for her"  
Quinn tightens her grip on you and then pushes you back suddenly.  
"You are weak Lopez. I can't believe you"  
You look at Quinn as her death glare tears you to shreds, you raise your eyebrow expectantly, waiting for the blow you know you are going to receive.  
"You love her, she loves you! For FUCKS sake, get your head out of your ass and recognise that you are both only happy when you are together. I can't believe you would fuck this up AGAIN Santana! Like, AH!"  
Your mouth hangs open at Quinn's outburst, you were expecting her to be angry, but she isn't normally a big swearer.  
"I'm proud of you Quinney, you let your badass show through"  
You smirk before your grin is slapped off your face, it was hard, but not hard enough to cause pain.  
"Get that sly grin off your face Lopez, I am NOT afraid to get rid of it by force. Go to bed, because we WILL be talking about this tomorrow."  
Quinn stomps off to her bedroom, her hands in fists at her sides.

You are woken the next morning by Quinn roughly removing the sheets from your bed; when you turn onto your side and curl in a ball your back is then met with a substantial amount of icy cold water.  
"QUINN, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!?"  
You leap out of the bed and move towards her threateningly.  
"Santana, thank you for gracing us with your presence"  
You then notice Puck is standing beside her wearing the same smirk that Quinn is sporting.  
"Lopez"  
He says, slowly moving towards you.  
"This is an intervention."

There is barely a second that passes before you have been thrown over Puck's shoulder and carried forcefully to the car, against your will.  
"I'm calling my Mami"  
You shout at them as you fight with the doors that have had child lock utilised, making it impossible for you to exit the back of the car.  
"Stop fighting it S, it's happening"  
Quinn turns around to face you whilst Puck keeps his eyes on the road, guiding the car to its destination.  
"We're not letting you ruin your life Santana. We love you too much to see you do this too yourself."

You recognise the road you are being driven down and begin your protesting again.  
"Quinn, you cannot make me do this! This isn't fair; it's my life and my decision. I can't do this anymore"  
Puck opens the door and you leave the car, not needing any push. Quinn guides you to the front door of her house and she knocks, waiting expectantly.  
She opens the door seconds later, red rims around her eyes, a tell-tale sign that she's been crying. She looks between you and Quinn confused.  
"What are you doing here?"  
You wince as her words pierce you, her eyes cold and glaring into yours.  
"Brittany, Santana is here because she's an idiot"  
You almost get whiplash swinging your head around to give her a filthy look.

"Look, Quinn, I really appreciate you coming around, but Mark and I are having a day together, there's only two days until the wedding so, yeah, we're just going to hang out"  
She's looking at you when she talks; she's so beautiful, magical. Quinn cuts off your thoughts with one of her incredibly blunt statements, a very Quinn thing and one of her most painful yet fantastic attributes.  
"Mark isn't here, nor are your parents or sister. Let us in Brittany"  
Her mouth hangs slightly open as she steps to the side and you brush past her as you enter the house. You hear her breath hitch and it matches yours; she never ceases to take your breath away.

When you're all sitting in the Pierce's lounge room Brittany speaks again.  
"What are you doing here Quinn, Santana?"  
Quinn rises from her relaxed position on the couch and stands in front of you both.  
"Britt, San, this is me putting this whole situation bluntly to you, judging from what you have both told me over the last two and a half weeks-"  
"No Quinn"  
You cut her off before she can continue,  
"This isn't fair, this is our life and you can't keep trying to meddle and play with it, it isn't a toy"  
Brittany looks at you shocked and Quinn stands with her arms crossed, a smirk playing on her lips.  
"Lives"  
You turn to her, her blue eyes once again passing through to your soul.  
"Lives Santana, you said life; we are not sharing a life. I am marrying Mark and that is my life, you are happy doing what you do without me. You chose that last night. All I ever did was love you and to be so completely yours, and I know I ruined that, and I hated myself for so long. And then Mark came along, and even though everything wasn't magically better, it didn't seem so bad. He loved me and I needed to be loved. We wouldn't work Santana, whereas Mark and I go together well, the idea fits"

You continue to stare at her open mouthed thinking intently about what to say next.

"Brittany, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you have no feelings for me. Stare into my eyes and promise me you do not want me."

Brittany raises her eyes to meet yours, her gaze hard. Your heart rate increases and she begins to speak; you stare deeply looking into her eyes, staring for something, seeking something, needing something.  
"Santana, I have no feelings for you"

And you see it.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Author's Note:  
This will be the second last chapter for this story. Thank you very much for following/reviewing.**

It takes three days until the wedding day arrives.  
**Three days** of hating yourself and crying yourself to sleep.  
**Three days** of hating Mark for every little thing because he isn't Santana.  
You were both sitting on the couch, the night after Santana and Quinn had left your house, when he'd told you that you were stupid. It tore through you like a dagger. You had just sat there in silence and let him talk down you. You knew you weren't stupid, you knew you were smart; you had copious degrees to prove that. It hurt that she wasn't there to defend you.

You're standing in your separate room, staring at yourself in the mirror, white satin and lace clinging to your body. It doesn't feel right.  
There is a knock on the door and your sister pokes her head through.  
"There's five minutes until we're heading to the church Britt"  
She says and starts to close the door.  
"Wait, Hayley, can you just come and sit with me for a while?"  
She shuts the door quietly and moves to sit in the chair by the window.  
"I love you Brittany, but you're making a mistake."  
You turn around in your dress and look at her questioningly.  
"You look so beautiful Britt, but there something missing. There is this little twinkle in your eyes when you're really, truly happy. I can't see it Brittany, so you need to tell me, are you happy?"  
You sink into the chair next to your sister and try to hold back your tears. Hayley had been one of the two most important people in your life, next to Santana; she knew you almost as well as her, so you know she is right.  
"Only she gave you that twinkle Britt."

_You are sitting on your bed. It's three o'clock in the morning and you haven't stopped crying for what feels like days.  
There's a knock on the door and Hayley enters slowly.  
"Britt, I am on strict orders, so don't yell at me, pretty please?"  
She moves towards you slowly, and puts a bag down on your bed.  
"I called Santana, I'm sorry, don't be mad. She told me to give you all of these."  
You look at her as she begins to pull items out of the bag. A tub of ice cookies and cream ice cream, The Little Mermaid and a stuffed unicorn. She puts the movie into your DVD player and then exits the room, leaving you cuddling your toy and spooning hefty amounts of ice cream into your mouth.  
Santana had been gone for two weeks. She'd left for college soon after graduation, having to organise everything for her move. You felt lost without her, the distance was hard._

_Half an hour into The Little Mermaid there is a tap on your window, you ignore it until it happens again, and again.  
You move to the window after pausing the movie and open the curtains to see your girlfriend with a handful of rocks.  
"Thank god, I thought I was going to have to get a boulder!"  
She says, looking up at you grinning.  
You stand there jaw hanging loosely as she moves to the tree by your house.  
"Britt, it's been like, five years since I've scaled this puppy and I just want to hug you beautiful, so do I have to come up this way or will you open the front door for me?"  
You release a giggle and tears start streaming down your face as you sprint to the front door, unlocking it and throwing yourself into your girlfriend's waiting arms.  
"I missed you so much, don't leave me again"  
She lifts your chin to brush her lips over yours.  
"I will never fully leave you Brittany, we're together, and this is it, us, forever. Te amo Hermosa."  
"I love you too"  
She takes your hand and guides you up the stairs to your bedroom, high fiving your sister as she passes her doorway.  
"Well done kiddo, operation make B smile is complete"_

_You fall into her embrace as she closes your door, determined not to ever let go._

"I love her so much Hayley, but I don't want to hurt anybody."  
You look at your sister again, seeking her help, her love.  
"Britt, I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, but no one has said it, they've let it go for this long and it's starting to piss me off. You're being stubborn and for once in your life you're actually being stupid."

Your mouth hangs open and you stare at her. She stands up to leave and you lose it.  
"No Hayley, you do NOT get to just say that on MY wedding day. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I know what I am doing; this is MY choice. It's easier for everyone this way Hayley, you don't get it"  
Tears are falling freely from your eyes now; you make no attempt to hold them in. Hayley moves towards you and puts her arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug.  
"Britt, it's not meant to be easy"  
With that, she turns and leaves the room. Leaving you to gather yourself and move towards the start of your marriage and the end of your love.

Your father grabs your hand before the doors open, looking into your eyes.  
"Brittany, is this what you want?"  
You fight the tears yet again, nodding your head once and moving towards the doors. They open and you begin the slow decent down the aisle to the traditional wedding march, into a traditional church, for your traditional wedding. You always thought that you would have a different wedding, never a traditional one, a wedding full of full of laughter, colour and love; four things you realise this wedding is lacking, the last being Santana.

You scan the church to look for her and your eyes fall upon Quinn who slightly shakes her head, confirming that the person you wanted was not there. A tear crawls down your cheek and you move your eyes to the front to see you have almost completed your walk. Mark is standing at the end of the aisle waiting for you. No look of love, or admiration; just his usual smug expression and boredom.

Just as Mark takes your hand roughly from your father, the song changes and a familiar melody echoes throughout the church…


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:**

**This is the final chapter for this Fan Fiction. Thank you very much for following me through it; it was a joy to write.**

**I hope I did an alright job for those who are reading it. **

**Thank you again for sticking with me throughout this story.**

**Reviews are still very much appreciated so that I can aim to improve my writing.**

Chapter 16

Convincing the organ player to let you cut in and play when she was finished the traditional wedding march was not hard. With confirmation from Susan she relented and allowed you to practise with her and the electric keyboard they had in the church.

Susan had explained that Mark was adamant to have nothing but a fully traditional wedding. It confused you to think of Brittany allowing for that. Not only from her personal attributes but also her scientific and mathematical studies. It confused you that she would let him dance around her dreams so easily. When you questioned Susan about this she simply stated that Brittany's dream wedding didn't involve Mark.

So now you are here, ruining a wedding, on a whim, for your own sake, judging from a brief twinkle that you saw in the person you love more than anything's eyes. It sounds crazy when you think about it, but it's not. You're fighting, like you should have the first time; fighting for your love that you cannot let die. As Brittany walks down the aisle you can tell that she has obviously been crying. She looks everywhere around the room except at Mark, who has a ridiculous pompous look on his face and had spent the five minutes before the ceremony bragging about his attractive secretary. Hate does not even amount to the level of loathing you feel for Mark.

The march comes to an end and the player changes to your song. You see Brittany's eyebrows knit in confusion and then realisation crosses her face. She turns to face you just as you bring the microphone to your lips.

_For you there'll be no crying,  
For you the sun will be shining,  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's all right I know it's right,_

Both of you are taken back to when you were children, realising your need for each other and remembering the urge to protect one another constantly, from the day you first met.

_And the songbirds keep singing,  
Like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you,  
Like never before, _

You remember your shock when you realised your feelings for Brittany, and how calm she was when you were acting out and being confused, and how supportive she was until it was hurting her. You remember the pain you feel when you are without her, like there is a piece of you missing.__

To you I would give the world  
To you I'd never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's all right I know it's right 

You remember how you feel every single time you are with her, the electricity that jolts through your body every time she ever touches you, kisses you, or holds you close. You smile at her, tears in your eyes when you feel the air leave your lungs and marvel at her ability to look so beautiful now, but immensely more beautiful when she is just wearing sweat pants and an old t-shirt, with no make-up on and her hair barely done.

_And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you I love you I love you  
Like never before Like never before _

The last note rings out into silence. No one moves. No one makes a sound. Brittany slowly releases herself from Marks grasp and slowly moves towards you. You realise what she is doing and put the microphone down; you weave through the pews in order to get to her. She is half running down the aisle when she finally reaches you and throws herself into your arms. Her sobs ring out audibly and you notice that there is not one face looking at you from the church that is resenting what is happening, except for Mark's.

"I'm an idiot, I'm so stupid Santana"  
Brittany sobs into your shirt as she looks up at you, tears falling down her face like miniscule waterfalls. You place your hands gently on either side of her face and look at her with nothing but love in your eyes.  
"Britt, you are so not stupid, you will never ever be stupid and you never were. I'm sorry I never fought hard enough for this, for us, and that it took me so long to realise that we are meant to be together. We're a forever thing remember. We're going to live a dinky old apartment and cook dinner for one another. We'll have a big house with a rainbow fence, and we'll have tree house for our kids like you wanted, that's big enough for us all to fit in there because I know you want to play too. We're going to have a family Brittany and it will be beautiful, because I will wake up and go to sleep every single day of my life with the person that I have always loved the most in the world. Just say you love me back"

She moulds her lips to yours passionately and pulls away to look into your eyes, her hand softly ghosts your cheek bone and you instinctively close your eyes at her touch.  
"I am so in love with you Santana, and nothing sounds better than too have a rainbow fenced house and to grow old with you"  
You lean in and kiss her again, softly this time and you smile into the kiss.

You are broken apart by a slight tug and an angry voice.  
"Brittany what the fuck?"

You glare at Mark and pull her back to you, tangling your fingers with hers.  
"Mark, I'm sorry, but I don't love you and you don't love me either; you love the idea of me. We were good together, but that's all we ever were. With Santana- we're astronomical, we're amazing, we're everything that can ever be better than good, and she's something that I just can't pass. I'm sorry for hurting you and pulling you along this whole time"  
You marvel at her ability to be so sweet and see the best in everyone as she leans forward and plants a kiss on his cheek and turns and pulls your hand, urging you out of the church.  
"Is your car here San, I don't suppose we can go and get changed before we start our new life? I mean, I knew my life was going to change today, but I wasn't expecting to not get married and now it just seems like a bit of overkill"

You pull Brittany to your car and open the door for her, helping her pull her copious amounts of tulle into the car. You shut the door, but not before you lean in and plant a kiss and whisper I love you into her lips.

You leave the church parking lot in your car, both with huge grins on your faces.

"We're forever San"  
Brittany says as she threads her fingers through yours again.  
"Yeah Britt, I've told you one thousand times, _forever, te amo"_


End file.
